💔 10 Things to Do Before Letting Go of Your Horse

There’s no right way to say goodbye to a horse who’s been part of your life.
Whether it’s age, illness, or an injury that made the decision for you, nothing can prepare you for that last day.
I know — because I’ve been there.

What helped me most wasn’t the big gestures, but the small, quiet moments I made sure to hold onto. These aren’t rules — just gentle reminders for when you need something to hold onto in the middle of heartbreak.

1. Take a Few Final Photos

Even if it feels too hard, take them anyway.
Someday, you’ll be glad you did. Capture the little things — their muzzle, the way their mane falls, your hand on their neck. Don’t worry about being “camera ready.” Real love doesn’t care about angles.

2. Keep a Few Locks of Hair

Cut a small bundle from the tail and maybe one from the forelock.
Wrap them gently in paper towel and store them somewhere safe.
Even if you don’t know yet what you’ll do with it, having it gives you options later — whether it becomes jewelry, a keepsake, or simply something you hold when you need to feel close again.

3. Spend an Extra Quiet Moment Together

Not the rushed goodbye at the clinic or pasture — but one moment that’s just for the two of you.
Stand in silence, let them graze, braid their mane, or whisper the things you never said out loud.
They understand more than we think.

4. Let Them Feel Like a Horse One More Time

If they’re comfortable enough, give them a chance to be themselves — a slow roll in the sand, a few extra cookies, that patch of grass they love.
This is their day, too.

5. Bring a Friend

You don’t have to do it alone.
Ask someone who understands horses — someone who will know when to talk and when to stay quiet. Having another set of hands can help with practical things, but more than that, it helps hold you together when you start to fall apart.

6. Prepare What You’ll Need After

Have tissues, water, a lead rope you’re okay to part with, scissors in case you haven't yet taken hair, and maybe a blanket.
It sounds small, but in the moment, your mind won’t want to make decisions.
Having these things ready can make the day feel a little less chaotic.

7. Write a Few Words — Just for You

It doesn’t have to be a letter, though it can be.
It could just be a list: what you loved most, what they taught you, the funny little things you never want to forget.
Putting it into words helps your heart start to make sense of something it never will.

8. Save Something That Smells Like Them

A halter, a fly mask, even a piece of their blanket.
Scent is powerful — it connects us to memory instantly.
On the hard days after, you’ll find comfort in that quiet reminder of who they were.

9. Plan the Next Day

Grief leaves a strange quiet after.
Plan something small but grounding for the next day — coffee with a friend, grooming another horse, a walk outside. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it gives your heart something to hold onto.

10. Remember — It’s Okay to Feel Everything

There’s no “right” way to grieve.
Some people need to talk about it right away. Others go quiet. You might cry in the barn, or not at all — both are okay.
Your horse knew love. And they left this world with someone who cared enough to make sure it was peaceful — that’s the most any of us could hope for.

If you’d like to explore options of what you can do with your horse's mane or tail hair, click here.

And if you’re not ready to say goodbye yet, that’s okay too.
Keep this close for when you are.

With care,
Colleen
Founder of Verstara Jewelry — and just another horsewoman who understands what it means to lose a heart horse.